Orgasms & Ice Cream Parlors...

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The title caught you off guard right?! GOOD! What more do you need when you are single AF? Oh you think you need a companion to make you feel content? Not necessarily. A good vibrator does the trick just fine. It doesn’t argue, it’s never late, it doesn’t climax first (or ever for that matter), you don’t have to cuddle…you get my drift. Ok so it doesn’t cook or clean, or make you a cocktail after a long day, but let’s be honest, are there many companions out there that do that for you when you come home from a long day?

So the point here is, if you want something, fucking go and get it yourself. You want an orgasm, great go get it, there are plenty of amazing vibrators and toys on the market that will keep you ever so satisfied. You want a kid? You have many options right in front of you! Ya I know I didn’t believe it myself and Men this means you as well. There are plenty of great sperm donors and surrogates for that dude desperate to be a Dad, but just hasn’t found the right girl. I have a plan in life and I don’t let anything get in the way of my plan. Unfortunately not everyone is down for your plan and dating can get in the way big time and prolong what you truly want.

The cryobanks are no joke. I found out about them from a very prominent fertility doctor while playing with the idea of getting my eggs frozen. Come to find out that I have a lot of eggs and freezing them would cost an arm and a leg…So no thanks, I don’t need to put those little fellas on ice just yet, but I am having quite the hay day checking out all the eligible sperm donors that I never ever have to deal with and low and behold they will provide me with a little baby. It’s like going to the ice cream parlor. Don’t know what flavor you want? Are you feeling like strawberry, a little swirl of chocolate and some caramel syrup? Well you are in luck, the cryobank provides you with pretty much anything you are looking for, even better than the ice cream parlor, you get straight down to the DNA specifics!

WOW! I know you mind is blown right now, you don’t have to hide it, I bet some of you have even gone straight to the California Cryobank website, maybe even registered to take a deeper look. It’s cool, I am not judging at all!

Have fun hunting for your perfect flavor…Stresses be gone!

Single AF Bachelorette

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The majority of this world watched a reality show or two.  Some don't want to admit it, but let's be honest, you know you have.  Don't worry, I am not going to talk about all the reality shows I love to watch and hate to love!  However, one show in particular brought up the one thing I don't focus on at all as a single lady...surprisingly!

So I got sucked into that horrible show that we hate to love, love to hate, however you want to put it, "Bachelor In Paradise"! I know I know, I never wanted to watch it because I knew what would happen, I would get sucked into the entertaining dumb drama, but alas I got sucked in, don't judge me!  Watching these idiots "fall in love" after knowing someone a week is ridiculous to me, but seeing the stress, anxiety and all the butterflies these people are feeling at such a high intensity level made me feel all those things again for them or for myself or for the fact that I don't like those feelings, at least not right now.  Why you might ask?  Because think about it, those feelings take over EVERYTHING!  Sure, if you are lucky enough to be basking on a resort everyday getting to know someone without the worries of the rest of your life, all the responsibilities we normally have while dealing with a new relationship, then of course it makes it easier, but let's be honest... Most of us don't have the luxury of dating on a match making reality show.  

I have too much to worry about then to let those feelings overcome all the things I am supposed to be focusing on, especially my number one priority, my daughter.  Ideally I would love to meet a person who is in exactly the mindset and position in life where they are confident with who they are, completely over the "playboy" lifestyle and not dragging any drama with them.  Easier said then done, LET A GIRL DREAM!  I have dated all the worst people, I think I dated one nice guy right out of high school, but he didn't have much drive in my opinion, he followed me around like a puppy dog and some girls might like that, but I didn't.  All the rest we needy or mean, liars, cheaters, the list goes on.  I am ready for a real man!  Are you out there, hello, I am here waiting, come on over you sexy perfect beast!  

My point is, for all the hardworking, badass, independent Women that don't need the validation from a relationship, there just isn't time for anything that is going to get in the way.  So for those of you independent, badass, confident Women who have found the perfect man that compliments you and doesn't stress you out, allows you to be a boss, can you send one my way please because this bitch has no time for anything that's going to get in the way of my success! I know too many ladies that let their relationships get in the way of the things in life that they need to be focusing on.  Boss bitches have no time for that crap, get it together, because I truly believe that the best Men or Women (whatever your preference), want strong independent Women to rule the world with like King and Queen.  You might say I am dreaming, but my reality will come true one day and I cannot wait to say, "I TOLD YOU SO!"

LOTS OF LOVE XX

Be YOUR perfect, NOT someone elses...

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    There is a question I get quite often, “how do you change rolls when you are with your daughter?”  I am a ghost writer, I work with some characters to say the least and I love what I do because I don’t have to be someone I’m not.  I don’t have to censor myself, wear a stiff suit and put a smile on my face if I don’t feel like it.  Yes, I still have an air of professionalism and I have to put on a tad more of a censored face (so to speak) for my life coaching clients, but with the music business you get to be who you are at home and at work, if people don't like you or your personalities don't mesh well then you typically don't work with them.  When people ask me how I change roles the answer is quite simple...I DON’T!  I tend to point this out a lot, but I am not a conventional parent.  I curse like a sailor and yes I do it around my kid, I am not showing off about it in any way, but I don’t do what a lot of parents do and cover my mouth like “opps I shouldn’t have said that.”  It's just the way we role in my house hold of two.  I don’t need to be something I am not around my kid and that’s just my opinion on the way that I like to parent.  I have mature conversations with my kid, you should see us when we go out to dinner just the two of us, it’s like any two grown friends just having good conversation and eating good food, she is honestly the best dinner date I have ever had.  I know I am doing just fine in the parenting department, foul mouth or not (insert laughing/crying emjoji)!  

    I don’t feel the need to really sensor myself in front of most people, I am not rude by any means, but I want everyone to get the real me right off the bat.  My way of communication and living seems to have worked out fine for me, I think it has worked in my favor actually.  I have many people who love working with me, I think because I am so comfortable in my skin and I show it, it makes other people feel like they can be themselves with me as well.  I am telling you it makes for a great working environment when people don’t feel like they are walking on egg shells.  People try too hard to be “perfect” in my opinion, even with their own families, children, friends, work associates.  Trying to be what they think those other people want them to be.  I say fuck that, trying to be something you aren’t makes you unhappy.  If you are completely changing who you are, especially with the people you love, you are leading yourself down a road of dishonesty.  

    Bringing it back to my daughter, I truly believe that the children you are raising respect you more and have a certain type of connection with you that is really strong, when they are able to see all your true colors, all of your emotions and have the ability to speak with them about all of it when it might not make sense.  Although I speak to my child like an adult a lot of the time, I do understand that she doesn’t always know what is going on as smart as she is and as much as she wants to understand I am constantly reminding myself that she is just a toddler.  There is a lot of innocence in situations and conversations, trying to figure out how to make sense to her and not treat her like a baby.  Sometimes it’s like learning a different language, you don’t understand it all at first, but that doesn’t mean you quit, you keep listening and listening and eventually it all starts to make sense.  My little babe is a great listener and the people I like to surround myself with are good listeners.  Figure out exactly who you want to be day to day in order to make yourself happy, healthy and living well.  Tell the haters to kick rocks.  I want to be respected for me and not who others want me to be as a parent, in the work place and in life in general.  Let me live!  So the straight answer to the question of how I change rolls, “I am a loving badass boss everywhere I step foot!”

xo Single AF Momma

You call me OCD...I say "Get Your Shit Together!"

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Many would say that I have OCD or that I am a clean/germ freak.  Opinions are like assholes and everyone has one, am I right?  OCD stands for OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER, people I am not that organized and I sure do break my own rules on occasion.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am thriving as a business women, a mother, a human being in general.  I don't ask for help and I get shit done!  Part of what I do for a living is help others find happiness with their careers and their daily routine.  The correct term for what I do is called Life Coaching, but I like to call my self a Career Coach, because I believe that so much of our unhappiness comes from our daily routine.  Our jobs, our homes, the way we start the day.  When you dread Mondays it means you need to take a look at what you are doing and whether it is worth it.  I love Mondays and I wish most of you would stop hurting Mondays feelings because it's tired of being singled out!  I know I know, HAHA Mollie!  But seriously stop having a negative attitude about Mondays.  

So here is what I am getting into today.  I truly believe I have become successful because I have trained myself to have structure, routine and discipline in my life.  All things that essentially come together as meaning something similar, but all with different definitions in the dictionary.  Sorry I won't get too nerdy on you right now.  Like I was saying in the beginning of this post, many like to poke fun at me for being what they might call "OCD", "Clean Freak", but really I just have my shit together...For the most part (insert toothy smile).  In my home I do have a specific way I keep things and specific rules that everyone must follow if they want to be in it.  Outside of my home I WILL NOT tell others how to be or how to live unless of course they are paying me to do so.  People take their shoes off upon entering my home, that is a must, even my 2.5 year old knows to do it.  I also expect people to wash their hands, especially after using the bathroom, because lets be honest, it's gross if you don't.  I believe that sloppiness is a factor in an unstructured life.  If you don't care about your home or yourself, you are probably not going to care too much about getting yourself to the top of where you really want to be.  If where you want to be is dragging your ass and complaining about Mondays then more power to you, stop reading and get on with your amazingly unorganized life that you have accepted as being your ultimate life.

I just shrug my shoulders when people make fun of my way of life, but one thing I know to be true is that most people that have gotten their shit together for the most part and have happy structured lives, live very similarly like I do.  I also believe it is important for your children to be aware of respect for your personal belongings, your body, your health and your routine.  Don't get me wrong, we all have days where we need to be a slob, where we leave the dishes in the sink for an entire day, where we don't take a shower.  No one is perfect and I personally don't know anyone that is, even super models pick their nose and scratch their ass cracks and go sit right back down on the couch to pet their dog...Yes I have seen this first hand.  I promise you, when you start focusing on the correct things, starting with getting your home and yourself together and truly respecting all of your personal belongings, everything else starts falling into place and you subconsciously start training yourself to be a fucking boss.  

Being Single AF and owning it has made me a happier person.  I use to direct a lot of my focus on the wrong things such as relationships, taking care of someone else because I was afraid of being alone and letting the habits they brought with them permeate my home.  That isn't the way to live and I was suffocating.  My main focus is living a happy, clean, structured life.  Routine is important, even if you tweak it a little bit here and there, as long as you have it, you are on the right track.  Remember Single AF just means that you are owning it all and I have personally helped a lot of people get to where they want to be by starting with themselves and their personal spaces.  So the haters can poke fun all they want, it truly doesn't bother me, especially as a women with a child who is 32 years old and living (what you young people like to say now as), "my best life".  That's right, live your best life, or holla at me and I'll whip your cute ass into shape.  Just don't forget to take your damn dirty shoes off when you walk into my house! (wink wink, kiss kiss)

Frozen: 6 feet deep of mixed messages

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Those of you with kids know that any tv show or movie they take a liking to you are probably going to watch more than 30 times in the span of a year.  I have watched Frozen over 30 times know, I can pretty much recite every song, every line and I know everything that is going to happen at every corner.  It's the one movie out of many of the new ones of my daughter's generation that seems to bother me a lot.  Don't get me wrong, I love the music and I enjoy some of the characters, but the message is a little fucked up.  Sure, if you think back to the Disney movies we all used to watch back in the 80's and 90's there was some fucked up stuff going on in those as well, (mostly the people creating the films tripping on acid and other drugs drawing things into the scenes that you had to look really hard to see..Also lots of parents dying in the beginning of a lot of those movies, but we can get into that another time.)  

Frozen in particular seems messed up because it's basically saying, "Hey, if you have a problem, shut everyone out!"  Damn if that were the way life really worked we would all be living in our own bunkers under ground, might not be so bad to have to deal with the assholes of the world, but that's just not the way life works.  I don't know about the rest of you, but I have an exceptionally smart kid, she is extremely intuitive.  I might as well be letting her watch rated R movies, (I do sometimes.)  So she is asking me every time we watch it, why Elsa is so sad all the time and why isn't she talking to her sister Anna, and why is she walking alone, blah blah blah..LOTS OF QUESTIONS.  I totally don't mind answering these questions honestly.  I am not the parent who is EVER going to beat around the bush with my kid.  She is 2 1/2 and she already knows where babies come from.  They grow in the belly and come out the vagina.  She doesn't know how they are made, I figure she will find out in kindergarten, believe me there are worse things she could find out so don't get yourself all crazy about it!  

Family is a big deal, kids shouldn't think that they can just shut whomever they want out of their lives because they have an issue they cannot figure out how to deal with.  "Conceal it don't feel it", tell me something I don't know Elsa, if I had a dollar for every time, HA!  If I was Anna, I would have been like fuck it Elsa, stay in your ice castle like the frigid selfish bitch that you are.  The one thing you have to lean on in this life, the only people that will truly be there for you no matter what the issue, is your family.  I guess Elsa ends up realizing this in the end, but damn it takes the whole movie of Anna almost dying because her sister can't get it together.  Hmmmm, drug addict?  If you don't understand the reference, never mind, move on.  Oh ya and speaking of lots of death in the first Disney movies that came out years ago, Elsa and Anna's parents die at the beginning of this one too.  Can these movies stop killing the parents please.  This happens a lot in Disney movies and I don't quite understand the obsession with death.  Think about it for a second.  Bambi, The Little Mermaid didn't have a Mom, Cinderella didn't have a Mom, Sleeping Beauty didn't have a Mom, the list goes on.  Weird right?  I didn't realize this until I got much older, like basically into my late 20's.

Food for thought.  What is really the difference in letting your kid watch a rated R movie or a PG movie that is sending mixed messages where my kid is going to be asking me if I am going to die every time I leave on a trip with out her.  I know I know, DRAMATIC, I am actually giggling, I truly love all of these movies and I am happy I get to live vicariously through my kid everyday and sing all the music at the top of my lungs!! Until next time, enjoy your Saturday :)

xoxo

I'll except the rose if you let me sip my Martini in peace...

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I recently posed a question on my Facebook on whether or not I was too old to be on "The Bachelor".  I already knew the answer, ladies in their 30's can apply and I am only 31, I really don't consider that old yet.  You would be surprised how many Women consider them selves old once they hit their 30's.  Bitch!  If you consider yourself old at 30 then it sounds like you are going to be throwing dirt on yourself in your own grave that YOU dug yourself by the time you are 60!  Relax, you aren't old yet!  There was obviously sarcasm when I posed the question and why am I applying for "The Bachelor" you might ask?  Well I am really not comfortable with dating sites and dating hasn't really worked out very well for me organically so I look at going on a dating show as a win win.  Two wins because, it will give me a platform for people to see me around the world and shit, if I win then I found love, something I am not sure is going to ever happen and then I will have to go start writing my next book "Married AF".  I mean really what do I have to lose...NOTHING!  Cross your fingers I hope they pick me because I really want to stir shit up ;)

I recently wrote a post for a track on the music blog that I own called Et Musique Pour Tous.  It touched on the whole subject of Metoo, something that the world is finally taking notice on, that being sexual harassment.  It's crazy it has taken this long, but the good news is something is being done.  I have been a victim of sexual harassment and rape, it is something I had to bottle up for a very long time, but I got through it and was able to talk about it years ago and again in my book.  I have noticed though that many people aren't taking this so seriously.  I was out at an Italian restaurant/bar that I have been frequenting for years now, just got off work and wanted an hour or so to myself to just have a martini and eat some food.  Immediately I am bombarded by a Man who has clearly had a couple of drinks, is very touchy feely and puts his hand on my shouldn't before even introducing himself.  Now listen, this guy wasn't creepy, it wasn't really about that, but you know those touchy feely people I am talking about.  So he kept talking to me and kept placing his hands on my shoulder or touching my arm, not in an inappropriate sexual way, but touching me non the less.  I finally turned to him and asked him to stop touching me and that I don't like to be touched which is very true, I am kind of a weirdo with intimacy even with people I am close with, but I try not to be.  He apologized, but it didn't stop him, he kept doing it, so I had to mention it again and finally pick up my phone as though I was doing something important so that he would walk away and find someone else to bother.

Now I don't consider that sexual harassment, but it's obvious that people need to be more considerate.  Some people wouldn't have told this guy to stop touching them at all, some people would have smacked him clear across the face and some would have taken it in a much more sensitive way than I did.  I know how to use my words at this point in my life and I encourage you all to do so as well.  Don't ever worry about hurting someones feelings by making sure that you are feeling safe and comfortable.  Set your boundaries right off the bat with people and you may have to repeat yourself a few times, but eventually that person will get the message or you can tell them to FUCK OFF.  For real though, if people aren't hearing you after you have politely set your boundaries, you have the absolute right to tell them to FUCK OFF.  Ladies are guilty of doing this as well, although I don't know many Men who are offended by a girl getting touchy feely with them.  In fact I am very interested to hear from Men about how they feel about this.  I know plenty of Men who have felt violated, I don't believe this only pertains to Women, but I hope you guys out there are reading this because I like to hear opinions from both sides of the spectrum.  Don't be afraid to comment or email me at mollie@singleafworld.com.

Ok, well that's my piece for today, my life is chaos right now, but good chaos so I gotta run out now.  Don't forget to follow me on instagram @mollieerin14 and follow me on twitter @singleafworld.

xx

Welcome Single AF World!

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You might be asking yourself what this whole Single AF thing is?  It's pretty simple.  It's single as fuck to be more exact.  Maybe you aren't single and you are about to click back to your facebook page, but you are sadly mistaken my assuming friend.  You are in the right place if you live your life as a single AF human being or you want to.  This means completely independent, whether you are in a relationship or married you don't need to answer to anyone, you run your shit!  When the shit hits the fan, you pick yourself back up like a boss.  I hope this makes sense, if it doesn't stick to simpler things.

I am Mollie Minskoff, I just wrote a book called "Single AF (as f*ck)".  It is a memoir so to speak about my last two years as a single parent, a look into my personal back ground, a roller coaster ride to say the least.  My book and this site is my personal journey for anyone who just needs a pick me up in this crazy life we live in.  I want people to be able to be the most independent, give no fucks, human, parent, girlfriend, boyfriend, you name it, because when the going gets tough I want you to learn to revel in it, live in it and make it your bitch, because there is no rock bottom!

Where can you pick up a copy of my book?  Well unfortunately I just finished it in January so I am in the process of getting an agent and all that jazz that goes into getting your book out into the world.  So for now I want you to just be able to join me in my day to day, week to week journey.  I will touch on some stuff in my book so that you can get super excited about it's arrival onto shelves.  This is just the beginning of my Single AF World that I want to share with you all so expect lots of cool stuff on my site from wisdom, merchandise, literally endless possibilities.

I should note:  This is not a place for the faint of heart or PG 13 viewers.  I curse a lot, I have very strong opinions about things that I have experienced and I do not hold back no matter what the subject matter, believe me, when you read my book you will fully understand what I mean.  I gave you the warning here and now so don't say I didn't, there is no room here for drama so let's get on with all this single as fuck loveliness shall we?!

*Please follow me on twitter & Instagram. Links below!