Many would say that I have OCD or that I am a clean/germ freak. Opinions are like assholes and everyone has one, am I right? OCD stands for OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER, people I am not that organized and I sure do break my own rules on occasion. Anyone who knows me knows that I am thriving as a business women, a mother, a human being in general. I don't ask for help and I get shit done! Part of what I do for a living is help others find happiness with their careers and their daily routine. The correct term for what I do is called Life Coaching, but I like to call my self a Career Coach, because I believe that so much of our unhappiness comes from our daily routine. Our jobs, our homes, the way we start the day. When you dread Mondays it means you need to take a look at what you are doing and whether it is worth it. I love Mondays and I wish most of you would stop hurting Mondays feelings because it's tired of being singled out! I know I know, HAHA Mollie! But seriously stop having a negative attitude about Mondays.
So here is what I am getting into today. I truly believe I have become successful because I have trained myself to have structure, routine and discipline in my life. All things that essentially come together as meaning something similar, but all with different definitions in the dictionary. Sorry I won't get too nerdy on you right now. Like I was saying in the beginning of this post, many like to poke fun at me for being what they might call "OCD", "Clean Freak", but really I just have my shit together...For the most part (insert toothy smile). In my home I do have a specific way I keep things and specific rules that everyone must follow if they want to be in it. Outside of my home I WILL NOT tell others how to be or how to live unless of course they are paying me to do so. People take their shoes off upon entering my home, that is a must, even my 2.5 year old knows to do it. I also expect people to wash their hands, especially after using the bathroom, because lets be honest, it's gross if you don't. I believe that sloppiness is a factor in an unstructured life. If you don't care about your home or yourself, you are probably not going to care too much about getting yourself to the top of where you really want to be. If where you want to be is dragging your ass and complaining about Mondays then more power to you, stop reading and get on with your amazingly unorganized life that you have accepted as being your ultimate life.
I just shrug my shoulders when people make fun of my way of life, but one thing I know to be true is that most people that have gotten their shit together for the most part and have happy structured lives, live very similarly like I do. I also believe it is important for your children to be aware of respect for your personal belongings, your body, your health and your routine. Don't get me wrong, we all have days where we need to be a slob, where we leave the dishes in the sink for an entire day, where we don't take a shower. No one is perfect and I personally don't know anyone that is, even super models pick their nose and scratch their ass cracks and go sit right back down on the couch to pet their dog...Yes I have seen this first hand. I promise you, when you start focusing on the correct things, starting with getting your home and yourself together and truly respecting all of your personal belongings, everything else starts falling into place and you subconsciously start training yourself to be a fucking boss.
Being Single AF and owning it has made me a happier person. I use to direct a lot of my focus on the wrong things such as relationships, taking care of someone else because I was afraid of being alone and letting the habits they brought with them permeate my home. That isn't the way to live and I was suffocating. My main focus is living a happy, clean, structured life. Routine is important, even if you tweak it a little bit here and there, as long as you have it, you are on the right track. Remember Single AF just means that you are owning it all and I have personally helped a lot of people get to where they want to be by starting with themselves and their personal spaces. So the haters can poke fun all they want, it truly doesn't bother me, especially as a women with a child who is 32 years old and living (what you young people like to say now as), "my best life". That's right, live your best life, or holla at me and I'll whip your cute ass into shape. Just don't forget to take your damn dirty shoes off when you walk into my house! (wink wink, kiss kiss)
Those of you with kids know that any tv show or movie they take a liking to you are probably going to watch more than 30 times in the span of a year. I have watched Frozen over 30 times know, I can pretty much recite every song, every line and I know everything that is going to happen at every corner. It's the one movie out of many of the new ones of my daughter's generation that seems to bother me a lot. Don't get me wrong, I love the music and I enjoy some of the characters, but the message is a little fucked up. Sure, if you think back to the Disney movies we all used to watch back in the 80's and 90's there was some fucked up stuff going on in those as well, (mostly the people creating the films tripping on acid and other drugs drawing things into the scenes that you had to look really hard to see..Also lots of parents dying in the beginning of a lot of those movies, but we can get into that another time.)
Frozen in particular seems messed up because it's basically saying, "Hey, if you have a problem, shut everyone out!" Damn if that were the way life really worked we would all be living in our own bunkers under ground, might not be so bad to have to deal with the assholes of the world, but that's just not the way life works. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have an exceptionally smart kid, she is extremely intuitive. I might as well be letting her watch rated R movies, (I do sometimes.) So she is asking me every time we watch it, why Elsa is so sad all the time and why isn't she talking to her sister Anna, and why is she walking alone, blah blah blah..LOTS OF QUESTIONS. I totally don't mind answering these questions honestly. I am not the parent who is EVER going to beat around the bush with my kid. She is 2 1/2 and she already knows where babies come from. They grow in the belly and come out the vagina. She doesn't know how they are made, I figure she will find out in kindergarten, believe me there are worse things she could find out so don't get yourself all crazy about it!
Family is a big deal, kids shouldn't think that they can just shut whomever they want out of their lives because they have an issue they cannot figure out how to deal with. "Conceal it don't feel it", tell me something I don't know Elsa, if I had a dollar for every time, HA! If I was Anna, I would have been like fuck it Elsa, stay in your ice castle like the frigid selfish bitch that you are. The one thing you have to lean on in this life, the only people that will truly be there for you no matter what the issue, is your family. I guess Elsa ends up realizing this in the end, but damn it takes the whole movie of Anna almost dying because her sister can't get it together. Hmmmm, drug addict? If you don't understand the reference, never mind, move on. Oh ya and speaking of lots of death in the first Disney movies that came out years ago, Elsa and Anna's parents die at the beginning of this one too. Can these movies stop killing the parents please. This happens a lot in Disney movies and I don't quite understand the obsession with death. Think about it for a second. Bambi, The Little Mermaid didn't have a Mom, Cinderella didn't have a Mom, Sleeping Beauty didn't have a Mom, the list goes on. Weird right? I didn't realize this until I got much older, like basically into my late 20's.
Food for thought. What is really the difference in letting your kid watch a rated R movie or a PG movie that is sending mixed messages where my kid is going to be asking me if I am going to die every time I leave on a trip with out her. I know I know, DRAMATIC, I am actually giggling, I truly love all of these movies and I am happy I get to live vicariously through my kid everyday and sing all the music at the top of my lungs!! Until next time, enjoy your Saturday :)
You are probably looking at the title of my post saying, "what did you warn me about Mollie?" I warned you how raw, real and honest I will get. How I will sometimes, most of the time (let's be honest), have some pretty strong opinions, but my opinions come from real life experiences. I am never going to have a strong opinion about something that I haven't myself experienced. When people go and have strong argumentative opinions about shit they haven't even dealt with or seen for themselves, I want to barf all over those people. I know gross, but that is exactly how I feel about "false" opinions. So there you go, you have been warned again, I won't do anymore warning so for the faint of heart, the sensitive souls, the angry humans of the world, turn back and go find yourself a PG blog. So if you have decided to stay then please do me and yourself a favor and put on your humor cap, try to find humor in the content that you might find offensive, don't think too hard, I see you over there thinking hard, relax, onward!
So I wanted to bring up something that I write a little bit about in my book which is "Bully Moms." There is literally a chapter in my book called "Bully Moms." It's juicy and it rips on asshole Mamas that I have come across in Brooklyn. I am sure there are asshole Dads, but fortunately I haven't run into any of them yet, I would love to hear some stories from some Papas about some asshole Dads, I need a good laugh right now so email these stories my way and maybe I will post one. I am a girl, I love being a girl, I do not want to go back in time and come out as a boy, but in my almost 32 years of life I have to admit that many more ladies like to cause a little bit more drama. I mean it makes sense, our entire make up is different that a man, but when you are a parent the last thing you want to deal with is parents, Moms, Dads, whomever, that cause DRAMA, you just don't want to deal with it. I know for myself I have wayyyyyyy too much going on in my life to cause or deal with drama, but hey my opinions and way of life tend to get me into trouble with the more sensitive types, the types that are just looking for the drama.
Becoming a parent has introduced me to this whole world of grownups categorized into the ones that grew up and the ones that are still living in high school and in college. There are also the parents (notice how I am saying parents and not Moms? I am easing you into what might or might not rock your boat and piss you the fuck off!), who have dug themselves into a huge pit of negativity, insecurities, jealousy, the list goes on. What I have to say to this specific parents is get a therapist, go back to work, get laid (the list could be longer), and chill the fuck out! Some of you might be like, "come on Mollie, don't start shaming, be a little bit empathetic." Nope I can't be, you know why, because I am over here doing it all, no husband to help me out, no one financially supporting me. I grind like a fucking boss, I don't let myself fall down or fall apart because I spent a lot of my 20's doing that and NO ONE rubbed my back, I got the fuck through it. So instead of taking what I am saying personally maybe figure out how to get empowered. People who start drama are usually bored as fuck or they have shit going on in their lives and need a punching bag. The punching bags these types of people look for are either the weakest or the strongest people, there is no middle. In my personal experience as a parent, the types of parents who exude these behaviors have been Women. So my question is, can I hang with the Dad group on occasion?
Listen, again, I love females, but I grew up with a bunch of Males, I know most of the world hates them right now, but I don't and I should I guess because I have been raped and harassed and hurt badly by Men, but honestly I have been hurt pretty badly by Women, not sexually, but I don't see the point in belittling Men, I am not sure what that will accomplish because not all of them are horrible, most are, JUST KIDDING! So where is this Dads group, you think they would let me hang with them once a week or are the wives and girlfriends going to have an insecurity shit fit fest. I have never been a jealous girlfriend, so again I am just giving my opinion off of experience. Ladies, trust your Man enough to hang out with other Women, if he is a cheater is going to figure out a way to do it no matter what. Sorry I tend to go off on tangents, but I ring them in pretty quick. So where was I, oh ya, Dad groups, I am going to find one and ask if I can come hang for a day every couple of weeks or so. I am really just interested in what the vibe is like. Do they bicker, do they get at each other for stupid shit, twist words around? Do they have each others backs, or do they run scared when one of their dudes needs them in fear of what all the other dudes are going to think? Do they talk about sex? About their kids the entire time? Yes, I am totally interested, because if it's the way I imagine it, then we are sitting around drinking beer or stiff drinks, watching a sports game, making stupid jokes, poking fun at each other, then we all part ways, goodnight, that was fun, see ya next week. I will let you know when I partake in a "bro" night, it's gonna happen!
Alright friends, thanks for reading, I have a lot of work to do with the rest of my day so we will catch up later. Go out there and be a fucking boss, it's much simpler than you think, but if you love the DRAMA, go become a high school teacher, you can surround yourself in the mulch of it all, sounds awesome (sarcasm)! If you haven't already done so please click the links below and follow me on instagram and twitter.
Single af xoxo
There is a huge march going on #marchforourlives. I have to admit, I have never gone to a march for anything and I honestly don't know if I would. I feel as though I have good reasoning. I have a daughter and I am her sole provider, her only parent, if anything were to happen to me, well that would be quite a shame. I think that supporting behind the scenes is 100 percent ok and should not be criticized. I have most definitely gotten a lot of shit for not marching at certain points in the last couple of years, protesting, however you want to categorize it. I have ALWAYS supported behind the scenes, but my fear is that big crowds of people, all in one place could become a target and it has as we have scene in some of the shootings that have happened throughout the years. I just cannot put myself in a position to be a target for some lunatic. If you are supporting whether you are at home donating to a cause or getting together people on social media, or physically out in the thick of it, you are supporting in the way you know how and if someone is making you feel guilty for the way that you want to support, then FUCK THEM!
A lot of people ask where I stand on the whole gun law situation. I grew up learning how to shoot a gun when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I would play paintball here and occasionally go to a gun range with my Stepfather who has always owned guns and kept them safely locked in a safe. We weren't hunters, it was all just for fun really. It's really as simple for me as stricter gun laws. An 18 year old surely should not have a gun whether they are of clear mental state of mind or not. I think unless you are a professional hunter or law enforcement there really is no reason to have a gun in possession. A bat or a knife is going to do the job just as well if you are worried about an intruder. In fact, stun guns should be allowed for home owners who feel they need more protection. I hope things can be figured out for the sake of our younger generation. I remember fire drills in school, earthquake drills, but now at my daughters school (and mind you she is only 2), they are having gun drills, what to do if someone comes in with a gun. This is the world we are living in and homeschool might become the more popular form of education.
I am a little surprised that more shootings didn't happen while I was in school. I knew plenty of people who were mercilessly bullied, I was bullied as well, but I never wanted to break into my Stepdad's gun case and bring one to school, it never even crossed my mind. There is something about the generation in high school now that is taking a lot more action on their feelings whether good or bad action. I believe that much of it has to do with social media, with the way the world is affecting them, it's just a lot tougher now, I do not envy the generation that is still in high school and in college right now, I don't envy them at all, I just missed this one by the hair of my chinny chin chin, (I don't have hair on my chin, but hopefully you get what I am saying). I want to commend those marching and I wish safety upon them. Hopefully this generation of teenagers dealing with all of this heavy shit can start the process of making it better and the ones below them can seal the remainders.
Are we ever going to live in a peaceful world? Let's be honest, I don't believe that will be the case for 100's of years, maybe more, there has never been total peace on this earth, "Pleasantville" was just a movie people, and even hell broke loose at the end of that one. I don't know that you would want a "sugar and spice and everything nice" planet, would you? It would be nice wouldn't it and only time will tell.
Stay safe out there for those leading the marches and protesting!
I recently posed a question on my Facebook on whether or not I was too old to be on "The Bachelor". I already knew the answer, ladies in their 30's can apply and I am only 31, I really don't consider that old yet. You would be surprised how many Women consider them selves old once they hit their 30's. Bitch! If you consider yourself old at 30 then it sounds like you are going to be throwing dirt on yourself in your own grave that YOU dug yourself by the time you are 60! Relax, you aren't old yet! There was obviously sarcasm when I posed the question and why am I applying for "The Bachelor" you might ask? Well I am really not comfortable with dating sites and dating hasn't really worked out very well for me organically so I look at going on a dating show as a win win. Two wins because, it will give me a platform for people to see me around the world and shit, if I win then I found love, something I am not sure is going to ever happen and then I will have to go start writing my next book "Married AF". I mean really what do I have to lose...NOTHING! Cross your fingers I hope they pick me because I really want to stir shit up ;)
I recently wrote a post for a track on the music blog that I own called Et Musique Pour Tous. It touched on the whole subject of Metoo, something that the world is finally taking notice on, that being sexual harassment. It's crazy it has taken this long, but the good news is something is being done. I have been a victim of sexual harassment and rape, it is something I had to bottle up for a very long time, but I got through it and was able to talk about it years ago and again in my book. I have noticed though that many people aren't taking this so seriously. I was out at an Italian restaurant/bar that I have been frequenting for years now, just got off work and wanted an hour or so to myself to just have a martini and eat some food. Immediately I am bombarded by a Man who has clearly had a couple of drinks, is very touchy feely and puts his hand on my shouldn't before even introducing himself. Now listen, this guy wasn't creepy, it wasn't really about that, but you know those touchy feely people I am talking about. So he kept talking to me and kept placing his hands on my shoulder or touching my arm, not in an inappropriate sexual way, but touching me non the less. I finally turned to him and asked him to stop touching me and that I don't like to be touched which is very true, I am kind of a weirdo with intimacy even with people I am close with, but I try not to be. He apologized, but it didn't stop him, he kept doing it, so I had to mention it again and finally pick up my phone as though I was doing something important so that he would walk away and find someone else to bother.
Now I don't consider that sexual harassment, but it's obvious that people need to be more considerate. Some people wouldn't have told this guy to stop touching them at all, some people would have smacked him clear across the face and some would have taken it in a much more sensitive way than I did. I know how to use my words at this point in my life and I encourage you all to do so as well. Don't ever worry about hurting someones feelings by making sure that you are feeling safe and comfortable. Set your boundaries right off the bat with people and you may have to repeat yourself a few times, but eventually that person will get the message or you can tell them to FUCK OFF. For real though, if people aren't hearing you after you have politely set your boundaries, you have the absolute right to tell them to FUCK OFF. Ladies are guilty of doing this as well, although I don't know many Men who are offended by a girl getting touchy feely with them. In fact I am very interested to hear from Men about how they feel about this. I know plenty of Men who have felt violated, I don't believe this only pertains to Women, but I hope you guys out there are reading this because I like to hear opinions from both sides of the spectrum. Don't be afraid to comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Ok, well that's my piece for today, my life is chaos right now, but good chaos so I gotta run out now. Don't forget to follow me on instagram @mollieerin14 and follow me on twitter @singleafworld.
You might be asking yourself what this whole Single AF thing is? It's pretty simple. It's single as fuck to be more exact. Maybe you aren't single and you are about to click back to your facebook page, but you are sadly mistaken my assuming friend. You are in the right place if you live your life as a single AF human being or you want to. This means completely independent, whether you are in a relationship or married you don't need to answer to anyone, you run your shit! When the shit hits the fan, you pick yourself back up like a boss. I hope this makes sense, if it doesn't stick to simpler things.
I am Mollie Minskoff, I just wrote a book called "Single AF (as f*ck)". It is a memoir so to speak about my last two years as a single parent, a look into my personal back ground, a roller coaster ride to say the least. My book and this site is my personal journey for anyone who just needs a pick me up in this crazy life we live in. I want people to be able to be the most independent, give no fucks, human, parent, girlfriend, boyfriend, you name it, because when the going gets tough I want you to learn to revel in it, live in it and make it your bitch, because there is no rock bottom!
Where can you pick up a copy of my book? Well unfortunately I just finished it in January so I am in the process of getting an agent and all that jazz that goes into getting your book out into the world. So for now I want you to just be able to join me in my day to day, week to week journey. I will touch on some stuff in my book so that you can get super excited about it's arrival onto shelves. This is just the beginning of my Single AF World that I want to share with you all so expect lots of cool stuff on my site from wisdom, merchandise, literally endless possibilities.
I should note: This is not a place for the faint of heart or PG 13 viewers. I curse a lot, I have very strong opinions about things that I have experienced and I do not hold back no matter what the subject matter, believe me, when you read my book you will fully understand what I mean. I gave you the warning here and now so don't say I didn't, there is no room here for drama so let's get on with all this single as fuck loveliness shall we?!
*Please follow me on twitter & Instagram. Links below!